I have tracked my calories at a deficit for 4 weeks now. I managed to lose 1 pound, on a good day. Some days, only half a pound down is what the scale is showing.
I went to my roommates birthday party yesterday, and I decided that I wouldn’t be tracking my calories. It was one day, I ran 9 miles that morning, and I was going to enjoy the day fully without worrying about what I ate.
I’m up five and a half pounds. Yup. 5.5 pounds gained.
In what universe can you eat at a deficit for a month and not lose anything, and then spend one day eating like a normal person… (seriously, I had eggs, half a bagel with cream cheese, half a clif bar, three pieces of pizza, a slice of paleo birthday cake, half of a small cheese, nuts, fruit, and crackers plate, Gatorade, and a couple of glasses of wine, it’s not like I ate 15,000 calories or anything.) and gain over five pounds??
What is my body even doing?????
Yes, I’ve been a fitblr for more than three years now. I know the number on the scale is NOT the best way to judge healthy lifestyle changes. I know that you can experience muscle gain before fat loss, and small changes the scale can’t appreciate in other ways. Normally, I’m all over this. I judge my weight by how my pants are fitting. I take bust, waist, neck, and hip measurements. I see improvements in my fitness as progress.
But that’s not what this weight loss has been about. My navy weigh in is in two weeks. I’ve spent the last four weeks trying really hard to get my weight down in a slow, progressive way so that I wouldn’t need to crash diet the few days before the weigh in.
And now, here I am, two weeks out and 4 pounds up from where I started originally. And I’m SO ANGRY about it. I want to be healthy. I want to treat my body right. That’s been the point of everything on this blog for the last three years.
So here I am, treating my body right and getting no where. And because I CAN NOT fail my weigh in, I’m going to be forced to do something unhealthy to pass.
I just have this feeling like what’s the freaking point of the effort I put in over the last month if I’m just going to have to cut anyway??? Why do I even try???